"Those were hard things for me to come by, and I offer them to you for what they may be worth." - Toby Wolff

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Abba Father

I sit rather gingerly on the edge of a lap I did not know was this comfortable. One hand holds his, and I feel awkward. Looking at his face, I see ancient and ageless mixed into an incredible beauty I fear I will never possess.

"Yes you will."

(How does he know my thoughts?)

"I see everything. You've hidden nothing, though I see you've tried," he smiles.

"All of this?" I ask, my hand leaving his to pantomime the warped human I inhabit.


"Even that?" I point behind me, incredulous!


"Even.........this?" My eyes spill over as I tap my heart with a shaking finger.

"Especially that. I know why it's there...ALL of it."

"And yet you love me?"

"Without question."

"Beyond all sense or reason?"

He laughs. "Child, you are not so hard to love. With every sense and reason, I love you. You are mine."

Acceptance branches out through a slow, giddy smile.  I take my hand from my heart and place it back into his, feeling the beat between our palms as if this heart is home. Leaning back against his expanse, I sigh into all that space. "I love you too Daddy.”.

Happy Father's Day to all you Papa's.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Needing My Friend

Yes...we're gambling!

We’ve only our hearts to guide us this day,
where once we were more form than substance
now some kind of strange piƱata
the bones of us covered in paste, held as body by crepe paper.

But no matter all that. Our hearts have GROWN
in equal measure to our deterioration and they have become
the governing force.
It is our hearts that beat us through those daily walks
to grease what’s left of our bitching joints.

Beneath these sagging breasts
beats the warrior child, the gator’s jaw
     fighting for
           releasing not
all that remains. We will
reach for our face to face moments...
two old souls, coming ‘round to a new innocence.

Our playground awaits.