I can't seem to hold on
I can't seem to let go
I've lost my hands and the stumps of my arms wave
as goodbye and hello
and neither the coming or the going or the bald end
knows the damn difference.
Can you see these incomplete appendages as they war
to pull and push
almost comical in their inability to do either
without a grip?
I am tired of watching them.
You must be too.
All that flailing.
A bad dance by a worse dancer
in the throws of this tryingtryingtrying
and you, with season tickets!
If I could just come into myself
push through the tight ends
fingers filling a glove
thumb...index....
opposable
I could hold something long enough to know.
I could release something long enough to know.
(at least in theory)
She said she had reached the middle of a lake
the shore lined with her many children.
She could see us waving, and she tried...wanted to...
but couldn't seem to make her way back.
I scoffed then.
'Selfish' I might have said.
'Weak' even.
Oh, I understand it now.
In the most difficult of all battles
(that being self to self)
she lost her hands
and we lost her.
I keep trying
to swim with stumps.
.
.
.
.
