She was given no key. "Don't need one in these parts," they had said...and it seemed right, as the cottage was nestled among orchards of orange blossoms. The door swung open easily to a coverlet of red roses and the end of the world painted on the wall.
A small restroom held the necessities and three small shelves. She fingered the potions left for her...strange names like Mehyam, Si, Raen, and a clear jar self labeled 'Ant Poison' in a hurried script. She touched herself with Milk & Shea Butter, feeling decadent and fertile. After a moments reflection, she turned from the mirror. Behind her, a breeze startled the delicate white lace curtain covering the window, and the appliqued dragons began to hunt.
She brought nothing with her but what she wore, that being easy enough to discard. She pulled the dress over her head in one sharp tear, wishing with it, a layer of skin. Each foot removed the shoe of the other, and she left them by the door where they might be easily stolen.
He wached her shadow pass behind the flimsy shade, noticed when the form rose, dancing to music he couldn't hear, but it was jazz by the size of it.
In his hands the knife turned ever so slowly as he built his need. The rusty blade didn't seem to bother him, though the dullness would be a factor.
Ah the blood,
the blood he would use to paint the roses.
.
.
.
.
So, much of this was actually true. The setting, the coverlet, the painting, the jars (though names were changed to murder the innocent). The shoes, the quote, the creepy white curtain on the bathroom window...
ReplyDeleteI was there.
Very creepy… So much captured in the few words. It was odd being both she and wondering about who was observing, and artist, not so bad, until mention of the knife, of course. It really can be difficult finding a good red☺
ReplyDeleteBeautifully bizarre.
ReplyDeleteThough the names were Changed to murder the innocent, I fricken love it!! You have a beautiful mind. I am glad I found your blog!
ReplyDeletehappy halloween:)
ReplyDeleteyou were there?? this little note saying you were there makes it officially more creepy and something i want to know more about...
This is soooooooo scary. I'm a gonna have nightmares tonight. Superduper fabulous scary story Annie. Love you! xo
ReplyDelete@ Anthony - What a wickedly cool comment. Hard to find a good red! Sinister my friend!
ReplyDelete@ Tim - I like bizarre. Glad I pulled it off. If only it weren't so true.
@ He - Heh heh...I just plucked that one out of nowhere, so it was obviously a turn of phrase just made for this short story. Thank you!
@ Ed - Well...I was at a cottage next door to my Pops place...like a guest cottage. The guy in the main house said I wouldn't need a key, no one locks their doors. I did leave my shoes by the door, thinking they might be gone in the morning or something near worse. There were creepy jars of stuff I couldn't understand in the bathroom and those curtains! So white and frilly but with an ferocious motiff! The doomsday painting above a little desk with blank paper and pastels. I wrote a poem about it back then, think I called it The Cottage. Anyway, interesting night. Obviously I wasn't murdered or anything.... heh heh. In my story the jars mean something, say something. Oooooo.
@ Marion - It would take a hell of a lot more to scare you Marion, as I know full well. You're sweet. I tried. Dean Koontz I am not! Love you too!
kinda sceert me fer a minute,,, maybe more,,
ReplyDeleteCreepy! Like REALLY creepy! And you got the creep factor with so few words. Amazing!
ReplyDelete@ Glenn - MOOHOOWAAHAA. (That was my creepy laugh)
ReplyDelete@ Peggy - I'm glad you liked it dear. Been stirring around in my cauldron for a couple months. It was time ;)
Are you sure you're last name isn't RICE?? As in, Annie Rice, Anne Rice? Ok, I've gone and explained the joke to death now :p
ReplyDeletei envy you your night in that cottage. recently i stayed in a place like this with nary a door handle but there was nothing spooky about it. it was all invite.
ReplyDeleteyour story worked for me, annie. i was kinda left wanting more. do you think you could write it?
xo
erin
I am creeped out!
ReplyDeleteWOAH this is verra verra creepy. How the hell did you do that??? * applauds*
ReplyDeleteI don't like this.
ReplyDeleteI'm scared.
If anything happens to her
I'll be very upset. :)
We don't really do Halloween in Sweden, Annie,
but I wish you a happy Halloween all the same.
"All the world can be the stage."
ReplyDelete@ Ben - Well I wish it was. I'm sure the paycheck is nice. Heh heh
ReplyDelete@ Erin - I don't know Erin. I am an impatient writer. What comes, comes, and I don't like to work very hard at it. But maybe. Maybe by Monday I'll have a part two. But I can pretty much guarantee you it won't be half as good.
@ Amy - Good!
@ Punk - Lol! I don't know. But I'm kinda dark and creepy inside, so it just came out I suppose :)
@ Andreas - Personally, I hate Halloween. It's turned into the most ridiculous of holiday's. I sit in my room with the lights off and hope it looks like I'm not home. What a waste of money. But hey. It was an excuse to get morbid (like I need one)!
@ Travis - Sure enough. My eye is always open for the next good line.
You need to reinliven your halloween spirit! put a bowl full of candy on the porch, and when a teenager tryes to take it all jump out and scare the crap out of them. Use a bullhorn or loud speeker.
ReplyDeleteA part of our house was built in 1610 or maybe 1608 I can't remember which but anyway it is old! We moved in just before Halloween and then Trev immediately went on a long business trip leaving me home alone. I thought I'd be creeped out you know? All that history ... all those creaks and groans. Ha! I don't scare as easy as all that ... but this. Yep, this is creepy.
ReplyDeletexx Jos
what's in the jars really?:)
ReplyDeletei could have sworn i left a comment here already. how could my memory not be sure? :^)
ReplyDeleteSCARY CREEPY! oh that last line about painting the rose. insanity explained in just a few choice words. well done, annie ♥
do you know how sensually your write?
"She touched herself with Milk & Shea Butter, feeling decadent and fertile"
oooooooooooh :^)
this year my writing teacher had me cross out every adjective and adverb in a piece i wrote. i'm tempted to suggest this to you: i'll bet it'll still be the same good tale
happy weekend. xoxo
love
kj
oh damn you. this is the crap i think about at night before going to bed. this is why i hate the forest. and this is why you're a genius.
ReplyDelete@ He ment - Scare the shit out of 'em? Well that sounds like more fun. Perhaps.'=
ReplyDelete@ Jos - Nope. I don't imagine you easily scared. Now the Exorcists...that movie with Linda Blair? OMG. I didn't sleep with the lights off for a couple years after that. I went back and tried to watch it again as a big girl adult, thinking it would curb the creeps. No way. I just got a fresh set. *sigh*
@ Ed - Well in my story, they spell Mayhem Is Near backwards. In the actual cottage, they were stuff like Kiss of Bees, Pearlcrium, and like I said, "Ant Poison", other names I can't remember. Burts Bees. I knew that one. I Like Burts Bees. And the shea butter real was so soft. Gotta get me some of that!
@ KJ - Awwww KJ, please don't make me go to school. I hate school. Really, really hate school. Don't wanna learn nuthin' :) I just have fun writing and am never expecting it to be anything other than one big grammatical error! But it's fun, eh? I'll let you work on all the hard stuff for both of us. You know I try to keep the sensuality light. I don't like to be assaulted with it as a reader. I want it to be the smallest hint, a spark, that my mind blows into flame. Thanks for saying it. Makes me feel good for some reason. I'm kinda a tomboy in real life, so sensual feels kinda girly, like I did something right.
@ Krista - Sorry dear. I forgot you were skittish :) It's fiction. No need to worry.
Okay girl, forget what I said about adjectives and adverbs. Forgetaboutit! Just write! But Annie, your writing is sensual. I love it, I wish I could do it like you do.
ReplyDeletePlease don't think if me as a school marm. It was a weak moment :-)
ps so, about rhyming:
you could try
you wouldn't die
but if you did
to you I'd bid
applause and winks
links and kinks
even a little kiss, I thinks
I'm on my iPhone and I can't keep track of this comment. So I'll say so long toodleloo for now
love
kj
see, there I go again. I'm incorrigable, Annie
Great details! He might paint the roses, but you painted the scene in long wide swaths.
ReplyDelete- Eric
Mysterious, creepy, and scary.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I want to hear what happens next, but I wouldn't mind a prequel ... spine chills.
well damn girl, that last line gave me the shivers! that was creepy good stuff, great details. each line held so much. I'm new here. Wanted to comment on the poem but I am typically at a loss for words when it comes to poetry. (but I liked it, I really, really liked it) found you over at ~shoes by the way (not that it matters) just saying...
ReplyDelete@ Green Monkey - I love your familiarity, though I don't know you. Gutsy woman!!!! I love it. Shoes is the bomb-diggity. I don't consider myself a poet, or a writer, though I stab at it...try and try. I mainly want to be accessible, not famous. So...if you get it...then I got my point across. Enough for me. I will copy this on to your blog if you have one. Not sure if you are of the type to return.
ReplyDeleteBeyond creepy...have you read J.T.Ellison you should, you give me the same creepy feeling of this author's writing
ReplyDeletewoah. wine and words, this is not creepy. it is stunning. you have such an acute sense of romance. loved reading this. :-)
ReplyDelete