I sit rather gingerly on the edge of a lap I did not know was this comfortable. One hand holds his, and I feel awkward. Looking at his face, I see ancient and ageless mixed into an incredible beauty I fear I will never possess.
"Yes you will."
(How does he know my thoughts?)
"I see everything. You've hidden nothing, though I see you've tried," he smiles.
"All of this?" I ask, my hand leaving his to pantomime the warped human I inhabit.
"Even that?" I point behind me, incredulous!
"Even.........this?" My eyes spill over as I tap my heart with a shaking finger.
"Especially that. I know why it's there...ALL of it."
"And yet you love me?"
"Beyond all sense or reason?"
He laughs. "Child, you are not so hard to love. With every sense and reason, I love you. You are mine."
Acceptance branches out through a slow, giddy smile. I take my hand from my heart and place it back into his, feeling the beat between our palms as if this heart is home. Leaning back against his expanse, I sigh into all that space. "I love you too Daddy.” .
Happy Father's Day to all you Papa's.