Kids have it right most times, until we feed them something different. Remember when he said, "Mommy, why is that lady so old?" and you leaned down to whisper, "Oh honey, she's not old!" but she was, and she knew it, and you knew it, and she wasn't as afraid of it as you were.
Oh...and the time she said, "Daddy, why is he all crooked?" and you took her face in your hands and directed her gaze from his wheelchair to the candy counter, deflecting your insecurities. But he wanted to explain his malady...even to a five year old...because they were the only ones who really paid attention.
Children would not consider any of it odd, because it wasn't until you made it wierd. I remember the beautiful man in the wheelchair. I was 30 years younger, but not young by far. He dove into a pool...just right...at the exacting angle, and that cool delicious water you like to plunge into, well... it snapped his neck and swallowed his basketball career. "Why would God change the laws of nature just for me?" he would say when we asked, "why why WHY"? It's physics. We like to make it so much more, so that we have our judgement and our reason firmly in hand.
"Why" is a circular question for adults. It has no landing page. There are no analytics to square off against expense. "Why" is a finger pointed against the circumference, waiting for a target at which to pull the trigger. It's a big word though, and tends to muster all your energy towards an unsatisfactory end. Children diverge in this respect. They ask a repetitive why about inconsequential questions, such as "why are your legs hairy" or "why do frogs croak"....and hell, have you any idea? But if you let them ask the question of people bound by circumstance....well, they have an answer, far better than your bullshit.
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You see things so profoundly, Annie.
ReplyDeleteBravo! That's all I got.
ReplyDeleteI agree!
ReplyDeleteFrogs croak as a way of communication, especially after a rain, they are telling each other,"it's time to mate, there's water now." Frogs too, tend to just let things be as they were meant to be and they just, "know." xo
ReplyDeletepublish this so a zillion people can read it. it is superbly provokingly true.
ReplyDeletei am on my feet clapping
love
kj
This young lady saw this 90 ish older gentleman sitting in a park bench all alone seemingly sad. Caringly, she sat next to him and asked "what's the matter?" His had raised from a slumber, looked up at her and in a gurgled whisper said "my wife passed away yesterday". She asked, " How long were you two married?" With a chin quivering he said, " we're still married", paused, "oh you mean here on this earth?" a tear trickles down his cheek, " not long enough".
ReplyDeleteCaring questions, 'why' 'what' 'how come', all may be followed by profound responses. Even as adults (grownup children) we ask questions and must be ready for Life's response.
Great insight, Annie
Gracias!
How sweet. I love the books, "Children's Letters To God". They just know how to shoot straight without all the clutter that us grownup children tend to complicate things with. Thanks Nene.
DeleteYeah, Annie... kids see things without the biases that we had adopted over a long life time.
DeleteOf course, sometimes, children are very cruel.
I suppose there is a trade off of sorts.
~shoes~
I like what Trav said. I hear the frogs singing and I run outside to meet the rain. I read your words and am healed. I'm so deeply and profoundly happy to call you my friend. Love you, my Annie! xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh how I needed this today. xo
ReplyDeleteWonderful insight, Great Examples. So many of the why’s I once tried to answer, ended with “I don’t know”. And I didn’t, and I still don’t. But my kids do seem to have all the answers. Of course they didn’t get many of them from me.
ReplyDeleteKids are so honest. "Mommy, why is that lady so fat?" Was the one I cringed over in the grocery line.
ReplyDeleteKids are honest and fearless until we ruin it for them.
"Mother will put all her fears into you...." remember that line from Pink Floyd? My favorite Pink Floyd song.
Innocence is quiet lovely. They are wonderful teachers.
ReplyDeletethank you for the reminder.
My dad had a few uncompromising things he liked to say...
ReplyDelete"This house is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship. Shulda, coulda, and woulda in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first." And one of his best was "don't ask Why, Y is a crooked letter never to be straightened."
One day a friend of mine and I were walking into a store with his four year old adopted brother, and walking out was a tall black man. We were in southern Idaho; this was a rare sight. Having never seen a black man Juan said "Wally, Wally look! It's Mi-chul Jordan, it's Mi-chul Jordan" he wouldn't stop saying it...soo funny now as I look back, wasn't at the time.