This loneliness is so familiar. I have swallowed this feeling year after year, indigestion of my lack...lack of something I couldn't put my finger on, but assumed automatically was my fault. If I am at fault, then I can fix it! I can improve. 28 steps to a better me. There was medication and therapy, self help books, prayer, hours seeking insight.
After all that work, I'm still alone, and just as lonely as half of a whole. It's easier to be lonely alone than lonely together. There's no pretense of happiness set like dinner table utensils. It's just an emptiness that has an opportunity for fulfillment. It's an amazing hope to be a parking space with no car.
Someday, a vehicle may arrive.
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Thank you for listening.