"Those were hard things for me to come by, and I offer them to you for what they may be worth." - Toby Wolff

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

$3.99 per Dream

I saw a cast off hat
that danced upon a wall of scarves
and placing the fedora upon my head
felt silk fingers run through my ego,
seductive strokes with a phlegmy cough

Liza Minnelli passed by singing Judy Garland
her perfume as loud and long as her vibrato
layered with artifice
"Parts are posted for Chicago. Your name is on it!" she crooned.

My mirrored image bore black stockings
coat tails flashing Grable's gams
Monroe's pout covering Streisand vocals.

(the hat...the damn hat!!!)
and me all big in myself
breathing Hollywood life back into little girl dreams
hair brush microphone and oversized shoes
as if
now. pfffffft!

Discomfited by the power
the pull of a dangerous preoccupation,
self rescinding
tucking secret desires under the felt brim,
like a diary between the mattresses...

I place the hat on the head of my father.

He beams into the mirror with a lengthy "hmmmm" of self consideration.
It looks good on him. Suits his eccentricity.

"You think I should buy it?" he asks.

"No!" I say....taking it from him.

"It's perfect for me."



  1. It IS perfect for you! You ROCK that hat, girlie. Love that beautiful smile, too. It's soooo you!!! xoxo

    Love & Blessings,

  2. Congrats on a delightfully descriptive piece. It takes a special kind of woman to wear a man's hat well. (Congrats on that too!) :)

  3. Marion - Swear to Pete, it's as true as I tell it (Okay Liza wasn't there, but I heard her singin'). Gotta love the thrift stores!!! Love you!

    Bubba - Thanks! This was a find, because it is shallow. Most hats are too big for my miniature head.

  4. Absolutely perfuect for,,, Ms. Quiet Commotion

  5. AnonymousJune 07, 2011

    I have one of those. It goes with my grey pinstripe. I still don't have the Thompson to go with it yet.

  6. Sounds like a wonderful outing with dad. Love the imagery and the introduced characters, so easy to imagine, and relate to. You do look great in the hat.

  7. Gentleman - More impressive than the hat was my taking it back. I almost gave it away. It revived things I have longed for...creativity, song, filming. It stirred a vipers nest and they all began to hiss. I shrunk...passed the hat over to a bigger personality. But I took it back. I took back what was meant for me. I think it was meant for me. It looked at me like we belonged.

  8. There are few items of clothing that have as much personality as a fedora.

    I'm glad you claimed it as yours and damn, girl, do you work it. And I'm so happy you took it back and realized that it wasn't too big for you, personality-wise - I think the size is just right. :)

  9. Tracy - THANK YOU! It still is too big, but I'm going to grow into it! HA!

  10. I remember being a boy and sneaking into my father's closet so I could try on all his hats. With each one came a different personality ... I could be anyone I wanted, but only if I had the right hat ... I'd love it if hats came back into fashion ... now you've got me thinking, perhaps I need a hat.

  11. Exceptional material, silky, classy, sexy, and smooth... altogether a SMOKING HOT look!

    P.S. The hat looks nice too, and at $3.99 it is either a dream or a steal.

  12. Matt D - I got good news for you! Hat's are back!!! Especially the fedora. I have a cowboy hat I wear on the farm. I am rugged earth, sweat and muscle when I wear it. It's the opposite of the fedora as it is a humbling hat. I am farm hand. I am field worker. I am happy in my cowboy hat.

    Marty - Silky, classy, sexy and smooth. Sounds like a good wine. Bet it's not $3.99 though. We've got a red zin that's sold around here called Voluptuous. That should be the description.

  13. "...and me all big in myself
    breathing Hollywood life back into little girl dreams..."

    The way you write Annie is bloody stupendous. I loved this little stanza ... actually it was the "me all big in myself" bit. Caught me off guard and I laughed out loud because that is EXACTLY how it feels. So perfect. Very much like you and this rather splendid hat.

    $3.99 is a steal. Dreams are a bargain really aren't they? xx Jos

  14. Shit I just realised that is YOU!!! Oh my word look at you. Big girl smile n'all. Fantastic picture of you. xx

  15. "tucking secret desires under the felt brim,
    like a diary between the mattresses"...
    this makes me want to start writing one today...my mattress would become a lot worthier..and what better place to put your desires ,closest to where dreams are milled..

  16. Jos - Big girl smile in a little girl dream :) Damn fine hat if I do say so myself! Thanks sweetie.

    Manik - True enough. Worthy mattresses?? Makes me smile. They are worthy enough Manik, to hold you in slumber...and witness all those dreams playing shadow tag on the wall.

  17. Had you had to have a hat, that was the hat you had to have. And that's that!

    A hat has certain advantages over, say, a madeleine... You can't flip a madeleine board and sail to distant shores, for example!

    Thanks for sharing your vision.
    Here's the echo of it from within my head: Sade Adu (from Smooth operator) is singing a duet with Lady Day in a cozy quiet place... And you are there chilling out with your hat and a glass of wine, hip with the gang. : D

  18. Good Heavens , geeeze I'm slow, this is a most excellent blog, and where have I been just clicking every day on your MP...and see nothing else...Do you always sign in as ww...am Ithat unconscious in the morning...Wow this is terrific, you're a fun, smart and great writer,what's the matter with me...

  19. When I was a kid I used to do amateur theater, even did these little improvised one-man shows. If you're going to create a character, a good hat is gold. There was a fedora in the wardrobe, and I chose it on a number of occasions. There's just so much you can do with a fedora, so many connotations you can make. You can be anything from cool to goofy, depending on how you crease it. Of course I would always look funny, cause it was just too BIG. Fortunately, funny was just what I was going for. You, however, look very elegant!

  20. Alesa -
    I never saw Billie Holiday
    topped in a hat
    but oh yes
    if I could sing like that...

    Ha! Pulled up Sade's Soldier of Love video. Such artistic imagery. I so want to make music videos! Maybe...in my hat...the talent will present itself :)

    Lorraine - This is my main blog. Musically Promiscuous was just a plan to get people to share interesting music, new talent, etc. It ain't working out so well, seeing as it's mainly you, Travis and I :) And nothing is the matter with you Lorraine. You can't follow every blog you come across, unless of course you are retired, which I certainly wish I were.

    Andreas - Improvised little one-man shows in a fedora? That I would like to see. Little Andreas working the crease in his favor. If you act like you write, I bet it was a sold out crowd!

  21. ok, not only do you look great but it's a wonderful shot, annie. and the spirit that goes with it is alive. awesome.


  22. Oh, I was adorable! I never was much of an actor - couldn't learn the lines. But I loved improvising. And then I hit puberty and just wanted to disappear. Now I do poetry instead. What's your excuse? :)

  23. Erin - Cheapo iPhone self portrait! I have 8mm photo app that I love so much I might make a line of cards out of it. The photos have so much drama!

    Andreas - I have always been the biggest obstacle in my own way. I hate to fail at anything (proving I have too much pride)so I don't try. I also have incredibly low self esteem (thank you mother). But I promise you Andreas...for my next birthday...on that one day, I'm gonna be a rock star!

  24. Yeah, you're a rock star! Your guests won't know what hit 'em!

  25. very cute, post and photo.

  26. I think I need braces. My teeth keep moving with age!

  27. This poem is wonderful. Everything about it is just right, especially its uncanny dream evocation.


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