I've unraveled...rather completely. I lay on my side like a toppled milk carton...tears dripping out, pain, confusion, angst. The milk was souring anyway. For years I'd peer at the expiration date with my camera eye and purposely shift the focus.
"You've been hiding yourself for a long time."
Yes. I've nothing left but to lay here until I've poured out.
"I will let you."
I watch you get in your boat, intent to navigate unchartered waters, looking so small against the spill, and yet larger and stronger than I ever remember.
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Did I mention that I love your words? I do!!!
ReplyDeleteLying on your side like a milk carton, LOVE that!
And the boat, oh, I need on of those.
A story is here, comes through between the lines for me. So many years spent pretending what I was seeing was out of focus too. I like the idea of getting in a boat and navigating uncharted waters. I tried that too. The voyage continues.
ReplyDeleteLove your writing… and what you reveal.
Most touching.
ReplyDeletepeeled away cardboard millimeter by millimeter until the carton opened and tipped to one side.. spilling faster and with such greater volume than you'd anticipated.
ReplyDeleteonce you've spilled you cannot hide. you can barely control how the liquid pools and what shape it will take.. mostly ruled by the environment; but you define the viscosity, the color, the odor, the taste and you control the ripples and your wake.
Tabitha - Thank you. My husband is a follower here now. You can see him straining against the oars.
ReplyDeleteAnthony - Trying not to be opaque when I write. Trying to live authentially without weighting the fear of the fall out more heavily that the truth. Glad you got something out of this.
Jonas - You've been pouring too.
Ayon - I feel very little control. Almost as if I am not the pool, but just a watcher.
"...the milk was sour anyway..." A cleansing is occuring and I love how it flows.
ReplyDeleteBetter to spill the sour contents of our souls out on the pavement than have it spoil us for life. ((Hugs)) How are you sweet friend. I've been a bit lost in the wind, but you remain in my thoughts. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeleteLiza - Cleansing is a very good word. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteIndigo - Very wise. Sorry about all that wind. I haven't been around much but I think about you too. Thanks for stopping by and we will catch up soon.
I love this...."looking so small against the spill"
ReplyDeleteRather like rowing away from the beast.
wow. either way i knew it. either way i knew you were strong.
ReplyDeletesometimes we forget there is nothing to lose and yet everything to gain.
you're radiant. radiant spilt milk. ha! doesn't mean it's easy. just means i see you.
xo
erin
Yvonne - More like rowing into it. Straight into it with intent. Rather amazing really.
ReplyDeleteErin - I don't feel strong. I feel very small. The kind of small we've been reaching for...sleuthing trains. Radiant spilt milk? Take a picture of that will you? Somehow I think you could pull it off. It is white. It is space.
I love the way you write and paint word pictures.
ReplyDeleteIt's a talent and a gift
I love you, my Annie. There are dragonfly wings swingly wildly from my ears today. Thank you and thank you, my strong compadre.
ReplyDeleteLove You Always!!!
Marion
Underpar - Such a nice compliment from someone who isn't much of a reader...but a hell of a golfer!
ReplyDeleteMarion - You are most welcome. Your cloud strength has always been an inspiration!