"Those were hard things for me to come by, and I offer them to you for what they may be worth." - Toby Wolff

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


She secures her hair
behind the sash of her ears
lifts fringed shades
granting his eyes alight
like newly hatched wings
wet, roosting
that she allows, that she invites
stammering towards
shuttered space

she simply opens
though ceremoniously
unbuttons her mouth
for penetration
stripping off
layer layer layer
pooling like cowled silk stockings

her mind
stands nude
in the shadow of her body
(Which is more intimate....physical sex, or naked exporation of the mind unveiled? Remove from the equation one-night sex, or paid for sex...rather sex within love, a naked mind within love. Which is the greater intimacy? Which is more vulnerable? I imagine the answers as diverse as our minds.)



  1. Well, to do a fair comparison we'd have to share both. ;) (LOL!)

    I think physical intimacy is inseparable from mental intimacy (given the aforementioned exclusion of sex for sex's sake), and is most satisfying when both are shared.

    Of course, there's also sharing thoughts for thought's sake, which seems to be much of what blogging is all about, and that's not bad either.

  2. the mind,, with or without

  3. Eric & Glenn - I think as we age, the naked mind becomes a more fertile playground and one we wish to frequent. My thoughts were so much more shallow in the pool of hormones, as was my rather untapped desire to swim in the deep end when I was a younger woman. And I think you're right Eric...true physical intimacy is impossible without the other.

  4. I really liked the way I read this in my head...very nice writing.

  5. the mind ... lovely lovely words and images in my mind

  6. Annie - I think you're right in that the younger you are, the less vulnerable your mind is and the more vulnerable your body is. And then as you age... it all reverses. Your mind is what has been the true record of all the wisdom and experience, and the body just sort of exists.

    Interesting thought...

  7. Magdalena & Missing - I guess talking about the mind does something within it :)

    Tracy - I know my body was vulnerable as a child. I know it was violated. I know my mind was violated even more so. Perhaps that's why I tend to close them both down. It's a learned behavior...protective patterning that no longer protects, but destroys. But I love your last line about the mind being the true record of all wisdom and experience. I think the body also is. I know that my body carries memory that my mind can't reach. I know by the way it reacts, and it's visceral protection of me, when I can't consciously do that for myself, can't label it, can't act upon it. My body will break down, loudly shouting "ENOUGH".


  8. I think it’s a joint contribution. The mind definitely carries a physical vision as part of the whole experience. Imagination has to be there too.

  9. What did Blogger do with my comments? The two above appeared as unmoderated, and the rest are GONE!

  10. the mind connection, for sure.

  11. hmm i think naked exploration of the mind builds intimacy at a completely different level, but it can be done through any medium and from any distance. it lacks the development of complete trust and exposure. the conversation is controlled/limited by what each individual is willing to express.. a sort of modulated vulnerability.

    with physical sex, there is very little room for hiding bits of yourself away. you are naked. they are naked. no matter the style, level of passion or arrangement, you are completely exposed to the each other physically.. and with that comes all the good and bad feelings of the self.

    i think we can be closely connected to people we never have sexual desires for (or do and are never fulfilled), but i think it is a separate category of closeness. likewise, a sexual partner that we cannot connect with intellectually or beyond surface emotions creates a connection in another category.

    i see this like a venn diagram, where very few exist in the thin overlap for those who are lucky.

  12. Our desire springs up from something primal and physical, but it is filtered through our knowledge of what we are touching. We're attracted to people with certain occupations or with certain habits or because of something they did or because of who they represent or because what they represent to us ... or for all sorts of non-primal reasons I could never list in full ... for complicated and deep reasons. It's all both very simple and very complex.

    In the end, attraction is very strange, and very mysterious.

  13. Yes very mysterious. I believe they overlap. I think they enhance the intimacy of the other. I also think it is more rare than we'd like to believe...like the venn diagram. You can hide your mind during sex. You can hide your body while communicating with naked honesty. A deep level conversation during sex???? Would that even be possible? Or is sex the conversation at that point? Ha! Just ruminating.


Thank you for listening.