"Those were hard things for me to come by, and I offer them to you for what they may be worth." - Toby Wolff

Monday, May 23, 2011

Roll In The Hay

(Got you with the title, didn't I? A bait and switch...)

I have a penchant for running off at parties. I can only handle so much mix and mingle. I'm no good at it for long periods of time. Like a windup toy, my arms start moving in slow motion and I tend to spill my wine as well as make evident my ineptitude at small talk. A re-charge is necessary.

The huge field behind the yard was calling me. The sun was low and lit the freshly mown grasses like a golden fleece. I wandered the garden rows behind two wild turkeys hoping to mate...well, I'm not sure the female was so inclined, but the tom continued his chase with the fervor of a teenage crush. I took inventory of all things sprouting. Onions. Garlic. Bad breath central, which matters little when the delicious flavors are mingling on your tongue.

I continued walking to the back of the property, eyes averted from the courtship in hopes that privacy would aid the deed. Two beautiful brown horses lifted their long lashes and slapped at the lazy flies within reach of their tails. Deciding I was innocuous, they continued to graze as the sunlight slipped another notch. As I turned back towards the house it was unearthly quiet. Acres of yellow field spread out in a come hither sigh and I wanted desperately to lie down on it...a vagrant, a stowaway, a field mouse. But I'd have hay in my hair, and weeds in my sweater, and dirt on my ass. Ha! What would our hosts think? I kept walking. Until I didn't.

This might be my last foray into THIS field, at THIS time of day, with all these elements hand picked for my enjoyment. To hell with the hay in my hair. I removed my sweater and lay down in the middle of the field. The sky was a solid color blue, as if a construction paper cutout suspended on string. The grasses were even softer than I imagined and I lay upon my huge manger feeling delightfully small. The breeze was gentle enough not to displace anything but my harried thoughts until a tickle against my arm turned my head. Somehow a tall stalk of green grass remained there...just one, and on it a spot of red. I could have easily stepped on it, or lain on it. I bent the stalk to bring the red into focus. Spots. A ladybug.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I might ask the same thing of you!"

(laughter) "Waiting."


"Whatever comes next."

"Which is...?"


"And we lay waiting because...?"

"We'll miss it if we don't."


I left her as I found her, unsure who had spoken first, but glad I'd not missed my connection.


  1. A roll in the hay with a ladybug,,,now that is sumpin',,,

  2. How much did you have to drink at that party? Go into a field, strip down and start talking to ladybugs... gotta wonder, eh.

    - Eric

  3. I love lady bugs... they are so cool.

    I like your awareness of your surroundings...

    I also like the title.. It made me think of Teri Garr in 'Young Frankenstein' when she was in the cart with Gene Wilder... and she asked him if he wanted 'roll in zee hay...'


  4. Glenn - *snicker* Amazing how I can keep up a conversation for two.

    Eric - Sober as a stone. I was DD.

    Shoes - I forgot about Teri Garr. She hasn't been in anything in forever. Golly. I can't think of anyone I would like to roll with less than Gene Wilder. Guy gives me the Wonka creeps!

  5. LMAO @ Wonka Creeps!!!

    You know, Teri Garr said she and Gene Wilder had a very torrid relationship while they were filming that movie...


  6. GROSS! I don't even want to think about it.

  7. oh, i don't think you're waiting at all. i think you walked directly toward it. and then laid down in it. just as you should have.

    beautiful writing and even better living.

    part-what? party? wtf is that? ha! now field, i understand!


  8. What fun, Annie. Sounds so peaceful and beautiful. Last week I was flat on my back in the front yard moonbathing...Wish you'd been here!!! (Next visit we must consult the calendar for moon phases!)

    On your title: Both of my girls LOVE "Young Frankenstein" and they used to run around as kids singing, "Voll, voll, voll in de hay..." laughing their asses off.

    "Vould you like to roll in zee hay? It's very von! Voll, voll, voll, voll, volling in zee hay!"- Inga, in Young Frankenstein

    I finally explained the double entendre to them when they were older. It's still a favorite movie of ours. Love you!! xoxo

  9. that is a moment made even more poignant by the fact that you were taking an impromptu "escape".
    i am the same way...needing to take a break from the heavy weight of big-group socialization. at some point, i feel like i'm not even acting like MYSELF anymore.

  10. Erin - A party is a field of upright people, displaying their colors and shielding their hearts. If you tap one on the shoulder and sit long enough, their petals fall away into the appetizers...revealing why they bloom or don't :)

    Marion - You and I under a full moon!!! OMG! Watch out Ya-Ya's! I'm laughing just thinking about it. (...in shame, she admits she has never seen Young Frankenstine before!)

    Renee - I am prone to these escapes. The more I do them, the more necessary they become. It is how I catch my breath. I know of no better way to refill what gets spent. However, if I am alone for long periods of time, I wind up too highly introspective, almost maudlin. I somehow become big in my smallness. I backtrack through the humility I gained, to a place where all I see is me. Ugh!~

  11. This is a lovely post! I wish I was in that field! I'll think of your visit with bio connection. We have bio-connection (b-father) coming to graduation the same weekend (I think) that you will be together with yours. I wish you happiness.

  12. Enjoyed reading of your escape. So familiar the conversations being had with yourself.

  13. Liza - My b-parents came to my wedding. My b-mother danced with my a-father. So strange and wonderful that was. I wish a lovely day for your family as well! Your daughter is a beautiful girl!

    Anthony - Well, if I had rivers around, such as you have, that's where I would be half the time :)

  14. Yes you got me. Me and my dirty mind :)

    I once spent an entire party resting under the oak tree out by a fallow wheat field. Just went inside to say hi and bye to the hostess. "Haven't seen you around much - hope you've enjoyed yourself" she said. "Oh my yes! It's been wonderful!" A full-moon summer night. I'll never forget it.

    "...unsure who had spoken first." Ha, I love that. Very sly of you.

  15. Andreas - A fellow escapee... :) Sounds like my kind of party. Glass of wine, oak in and out of the glass, a setting sun, nature music. Ahhhhh. Sublime. "Oh my yes! It's been wonderful!" Ha! Cracks me up.

  16. (Darn bait-and-switch! LOL!)

    What a delightful tale, Annie!
    You seized the moment! To hell with the day!

    (P.S. Crowds suck!)

  17. I love your description of a party to Erin. Small talk? Yeah maybe one day I'll get the hang of it ... when someone tells me what the bloody point of it is!

    Now talking to ladybirds ... we will become bi-lingual Annie just you wait and see! ... anyway as I was saying talking to ladybirds I DO understand.

    I talk to bugs, birds, cats and the various wild visitors to my back yard. I lie on the grass and talk to the clouds and trees too ... just saying that although I don't do small talk I do talk a lot!

    Oh and btw ... loved the bait n switch. V. cool. xx Jos

  18. Eric W. - Carpe Diem! Me and Crowds are like oil and water. Not sure if I'm the H20 or the slick, but we just don't get along.

    Jos - Ladybird? I think that was a president's wife here in the USofA! Clouds are kinda shy, but those trees'll yack your ears off! :)

  19. I can handle one person, two is tough though. A whole party? I'd have headed for that field and waited for the stars! :)

  20. Matt - The funny thing is...if all of us on this blog were at the party...we'd probably all have wound up in the field! Strange isn't it? We'd be trying to escape the crowd, only to create one!

  21. I like this. You should play at 10thDoM.


Thank you for listening.