Tuesday, July 5, 2011
My air does catch, like a hiccup expelled long
and lungs forget they have hollow spaces
which can be mindfully filled
but even when I will not....
there comes breath
and I scrunch my face
open mouthed in silent protest
Father, you should have let me go!
God can roll His eyes...
I spent a good 30 minutes walking an old historical cemetery today. I thought of death. I thought of this poem. This was written awhile ago regarding a panic attack. If you have them, then you know this feeling of not being able to get enough air. I have considered ceasing air all together...giving it up like tobacco, or a bad hair color. It's never really a suicide thing....just a tired thing, perhaps an impatient thing. I'm often ready to be done. I am actually feeling happy today. I can't wait to get back to that cemetery though once the weather turns appropriately gloomy :)