"Those were hard things for me to come by, and I offer them to you for what they may be worth." - Toby Wolff
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Knowing More
We're afraid.
So we hole up in our preservations and stew in our fear.
We watch the steam rise from the water of our immobility and our skin starts to boil. We know we should be on a mission to escape, but the water has warmed so slowly that we thought we were simply bathing.....
....until we knew more.
And when the temperature gained ground, we reached out to turn a knob, and there our fingers scalded. We pulled back to preserve a hand...
...not realizing we might lose a life....
....until we knew more.
We heard a noise, like eggs coming to boil
realized the cacophony of our own bones rattling far beyond simmer.
To attempt a release now will surely be a far worse burn, for the flames....
...the flames are licking at the rim and dissonant against our skeletal racket.
The tea kettle starts to whistle, yet no one has called for tea. We find our mouths open and recognize the wail from our self tortured soul as anything as simple as tea.
We are knowing more.
Subconsciously, we begin to churn the water, our legs...barely within our reasoning...furiously kick. And our arms slap the water, making waves. We are so petrified to create movement with our mind
that our body
lie detector that it is
says "ENOUGH"
and as if, without our consent,
creates
The Perfect Storm.
We invite the wind.
We throw open the shutters and pull a tornado out of our hat.
We are knowing now....
that we WILL be moved...
that our bodies have rescued us from being poached,
or worse, hard boiled.
We've blamed the pot
we've blamed the water
we've blamed the bones.
We see movement only as a physical migration...
and for a time it has to be
we are so hot, so burned, so tired of heat.
We will come to know more.
Perhaps it wasn't about the pot.
it wasn't about the water.
It was just the bones
having something to say.
.
.
.
.
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This may be the most important post I have written. It is not about moving myself from one relationship to another, one household to another, one town to another. This about the mind moving to it's own truth, and how fearful we are about making such claims. My body refuses to accept untruth as a shirt I can wear. It pries my mouth open. I am having a moment of hope.
ReplyDeleteHope is good. Hope is huge. Love & Hugs, dearest Annie.
ReplyDeleteJeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
i am so happy for you. the less we flail and the more we flow (not necessarily agree, just flow) the most amazing things are unveiled. the energy in living out loud, living truthfully - something worth celebrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA wonderfully written piece, love the metaphors. The message for me is to realize everything is going to change. Hold to basic principals. Maintain a distance from those who bring you down, or have excuses instead of suggestions that help. They won’t want you to change. They would be forced to look at themselves. Be prepared to be uncomfortable again and again. Embrace. Well, that’s my take. I probably didn’t need to say so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy for your moment of hope, Annie. I've been praying that you find it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, one of the best poems I've ever read.
"You have go to learn
ReplyDeleteto live
until no end.
So put your feet in the water
put your head in the water
put your soul in the water
join me for a swim tonight."
-Ed Kowalczyk
i can't imagine what you might be going through (such violence!) but whatever it is, i hope the outcome is what your spirit needs, what it has been asking for.
ReplyDeletexo
erin
This is quite wonderful and made even more so with your self-revelation as the first comment.
ReplyDeleteI'm shivering from emotions..a spiritual guide told me I accepted only the truth, that's why I only had liars around me....it's so hard for the mind to grab the truth, I did and then I said to hell with it,I recognize the truth and I don't care, your writing brings it home to me always,hurting, caring...hoping...
ReplyDeleteoh the photo for me: ex-ctasy
ReplyDeleteWonderfully expressed, Annie. Keep on hoping! :)
ReplyDeleteDay gives way to night on the storefront mannequins,
ReplyDeleteThe audience with Mona Lisa grins.
Moonlight builds emotion as the players scuttle in.
Pull the curtain back and let the show begin.
Moon of mischief under low-light discipline.
Hear the tiny monsters hunt the harlequin.
Silent patrons view the drama under low-light discipline.
Hear the tiny monsters hunt the harlequin.
Moon of mischief, we kill, be killed, or run,
To be or not to be the only one.
It reminds me of the toad in the pot...the water is tempered so that he does not notice the heat until it is too late.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Char