"Is this what you meant by how I should treat you after?" he said....kissing her lips with his plump ones, and teasing her nipple between his fingers.
"yeah...something like that", she said.
"Well, let's go get that drink", he said....and it wasn't just one, but two...or many, as she knew it would be. Quantity mattered little in such an equation. And there was no sweetness, no tenderness, no after. He'd learned nothing. More importantly, she'd learned less. The world spun no heavier on one side, though it should have.
She pulled the cheap hotel tissue from the box and soaked him up from between her thighs. She brought the tissue to her nose and inhaled the smell of regret. It was musty. Of course it would be. Mistakes are ancient and repeated. They are destined to the fate of a sratched record...annoying as hell...but no one wants to leave the arms of their "lover" to change the album, much less the needle. So we skip along.
He didn't kiss her after.
He didn't touch her.
She didn't really think he would.
But it was worth a shot.
.
.
.
.
This is not my story. I met her. I imagined. It means little. But I thought much.
ReplyDeleteit's why i don't have the power to play around like some do - i can't give myself without my heart being included, i have no interest in letting someone kiss my cheek who hasn't already made my lips turn into a smile with his truth.
ReplyDeleteA sad snapshot that rings very true, sacrificing emotional content for mere physical connection.
ReplyDeletenot real and yet real, too often. and yet, as sad as it is, we keep reaching, don't we, toward each other, hoping.
ReplyDeletexo
erin
This story is always heartbreaking to me... every lover deserves afterward kisses.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I think I'm turned on, by......a lot of things said. It may be a regret for some but looking at the words and being someone who enjoys the "after" I see it differently.
ReplyDeletejeez louise, so evocative and so compact. this is a gift : an economy of that is yours: words that describe and explode and vividly remain afterwards.
ReplyDeletedoes anybody compliment on the photos you choose? this one, the woman looks so young, so childlike. it's a great choice for your poem/story/snippet/heartbreak.
i'm glad to know the story is not yours. and yet, don't we all understand? "Mistakes are ancient and repeated."
love
kj
EcoGrrl - It is wonderful to know this about yourself before the after. Smart woman!
ReplyDeleteEric - Yes. Sad. She so desperately wants the other, but her means to the end just keeps hurting her.
Erin - She spoke the words she lived. "I like men. I am looking for one." So honest. Drunk and honest. She would walk out with one...come back. In and out. I wouldn't call them men.
Marty - I believe there should be love. That's what she was looking for. She did not find it this night.
KJ - I am not usually economical with words but I am trying to find the balance. I am attempting to use more and more of my own photographs. This was Donna. She does look young. She dressed to match her Budweiser and her strapless dress kept falling down over emaciated breasts. She was too skinny. Her face...HER FACE!...I wanted to post it, but felt it had already seen too much exposure. Yes, there is a hurt and longing here that everyone can understand.
Sad story. Beatifully written. Really.
ReplyDeleteFYI: there's something wrong with the link on your comments today. Get File Not Found, 404 error.
So much is in the after. As women we notice the after as much as the during and the before. This post reminded me of a woman I knew who said her husband never said a word or made a sound during sex in 13 years. He just rolled on her and off her at the end and beginning. SILENCE. Love? Hmmm. They divorced. And she finally admitted the horror of aching in his silence. I wrote about it once, but maybe I will again... This post reminds me of somethings. Beautifully done, Annie.
ReplyDelete"He'd learned nothing. More importantly, she'd learned less." Love that! Ha! A wee bit of sardonic wit. We're not that unique in the mistakes we make, are we? Nothing new under the sun, not really. And we never learn. If we did we'd probably stopped doing anything at this point.
ReplyDeleteAmy - Aching in his silence. That about covers it. During is certainly not the end, and the end should linger into the next.
ReplyDeleteAndreas - Interesting thought. If only all the mistakes were already made and the only thing new under the sun was gold. When pigs fly...eh?
i've hurt women, not like this but something like this. some people keep on going with the same behavior. some get their shit together. then we fall and face the wheel again, which might be why you once told me never to surrender, i suppose:)
ReplyDeleteEd - Such a brave statement. "I've hurt women." We, as humans, hurt each other. Might as well cop to it, but no....not surrender to it. Hopefully we become more and more considerate, not less so.
ReplyDeleteCool!
ReplyDeleteAs always he wasn't worth the shit...Wow girl you are a word power story teller
ReplyDeleteLoved the writing here. You captured so well this drama played out over and over again. It’s sad the cruelty of the selfishness noted here, and how easily it is forgiven.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean you are not a writer? Of course you are!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi! It has been soo long.. I am spread thin over so much at the moment. I'm glad I caught this post.. I really liked it. So powerfully written... the imagery makes it all so real. I could see it all happening. How many times will we let the light of an unattainable love keep us reaching through the fire, just to get burned.
ReplyDelete