The story is no longer unique. It's as tired as the seat of my favorite blue jeans. Abuse - Adoption - Molestation - Irreconciliation. And yet...it was a unique opportunity I had to photograph this wedding...to discover that two broken families had made their way back to each other.
When the bride was five years old, her family attended my church. Her father, Jack, had a brother....Sam. I became very good friends with Sam and his wife. Through the course of our friendship I discovered that, like myself, Sam was also adopted. He CHOSE to be adopted. When they were in high school, Jack and Sam were best friends. Sam's mother was a beast....a wretched woman who abused him in many ways. Jack's family offered to adopt him, and Jack took their name. They took him in as their own son, and two kids who always felt like brothers, now were. Sam and Jack both fell in love with beautiful women and had beautiful sons and daughters. The two families were very close, spending holidays together, vacations and daily interactions.
When Jack's daughter was five, Sam's son babysat her. They were alone. He molested her. The family broke apart. The son was labeled, the daughter was broken. The friends, turned brothers, became nothing...as dead as if they had died. Sam was no longer considered family for a myriad of complicated reasons. It was sad to watch. A decade went by with little or no contact other than police and attorney's and whatnot. Anyway, that's as short as I can make a long story. Eventually there was a hand out, and a hand receptive, and the two families started speaking again.
Saturday, Jack's daughter got married. Sam and his wife attended. Sam's daughter photographed the wedding with me. I am immensely happy for this bride, that on this day she is reconciled and the brothers are reconciled. Jack's son is absent, but that's not really the point.
Healing is possible.
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.
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There is nothing that cannot be overcome by the human spirit and forgiveness.
ReplyDeletewow, amazing. and a beautiful, hopeful photo, too. i love that moment you captured. sometimes these things take time. sometimes, it just takes a while to overcome major damage. wonderful to hear the families are talking again.
ReplyDeleteHealing is so under-rated... I suppose that there should always be an opportunity for healing.
ReplyDeleteVery nice post, Annie...
~shoes~
It's comforting to know families can heal. Mine have had a lot of issues with each other, but nothing so severe.
ReplyDeleteEric - Grace and Mercy. We all need it.
ReplyDeleteEd - Kind of a positive post, and a positive picture for me...in the SAME POST! Am I lost???
Shoes - Yes, I suppose it is, until you experience it.
Ben - Things heal, but they are never quite the same. Scars are left, but wounds transposed.
First: I love the photo, especially the look on the child’s face.
ReplyDeleteI feel so sorry for what happened, how difficult it is for the two brothers, after having found each other as they had. What divides them would be so hard to overcome.
an important story, annie.
ReplyDelete(why is there such pain in the world? i was going to write, why such aberrations? but it is so frequent and so how can i write aberration?)
xo
erin
heartwrenching...there's somuch pain so hard to reconcile so very courageous
ReplyDeleteThat story is so sad! But there is hope that the two brothers/ best friends will mend their relationship.
ReplyDeleteThe photograph is so natural and beautiful
Anthony - A tough situation all the way around. Division. I feel divided today. I feel crevises between me and people I should feel close to. It need not be a big deal...but our awareness of these dividers is the first step towards crossing them.
ReplyDeleteErin - My thought exactly. The theme is so worn out. But perhaps not the ending. Maybe it's as shiny as a new penny :)
Lorraine - I think forgiveness is a very selfless act. We feel so entitled to our pain and anger. Sometimes I wonder if we harm ourselves more than anyone else ever could with all we hold on to that we should just let go of?
Elisecrets - I really detest posed portraits. A genuine expression is worth a thousand painted smiles. Thank you.
hopelessly lost you are:) me too!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you took the photos. (That one is awesome!) I know they are all great. Yes, forgiveness is good. Too many secrets in my own extended family...and nobody's talking...ever. I think it's a southern thing, but it makes me nuts some days. I'm so glad this family had a happy day of coming together. It gives us all hope. Good going, Annie!!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt's not the same. Like when you glue a vase back together and pieces are missing, but the vase will still hold water. But I have to be happy with what I have, or I will have nothing. -Sam's Daughter
ReplyDeleteJust now reading this post - it caught my eye due to, what you and I both know, is a very personal topic to me.
ReplyDeleteHealing is not an option if you want to move forward with your life. At some point, you have to choose between anger and standing still, or forgiveness and moving forward.
It is not easy, nor am I judging or oversimplifying cases where someone thinks forgiveness is not needed. But speaking from my own experience - my inability to forgive left me trapped for a very, very long time until I broke free through love.
Hugs to you, Annie. And to the bride.