It's easy to live within the circle of your own sanctity
but out on the edge
is where chickens die.
Inviolable is an envious place
yet even condoms have holes
and the impenetrable get pregnant.
Do you lie to yourself when you say there is no god?
Your knowing is not immutable.
I would rather stalk truth
relentlessly
than squat down with my stake
cemented in the corner of a world I did not build.
Certainty is a slippery slope.
How long were we convinced the world was flat?
If you are closed to any truth
but the button you have pinned to your lapel,
the bumper sticker layered over the last worn statement,
it will crack you open like an egg.
You will run out and watch yourself separate
into what you know and what is true, and then untrue,
and then unknown.
I have been the bakers dozen
and that thirteenth was nearly my undoing.
I watched the sun rise this morning.
I watched it seduce the clouds
lick the underside of things thought dead.
I thought to rise tomorrow, ready to capture such a miracle again
as if it were a certainty
tomorrow
sun
rise
me
At that point I called my own folly
and labeled myself the fool.
(I've stared at my journal for the better part of a week. "Write something upbeat Annie. Write something POSITIVE. Be brilliant but bright." Ha! All I accomplished was to snuff out my muse. I know nothing but what needs to be written during a short lunch. This poem is stained with cucumber and pesto chicken. Perhaps it was indigestion.)
.
.
.
.
Don't write upbeat, just write Annie! Loved this piece. So many great, moving lines:
ReplyDeleteyet even condoms have holes
Certainty is a slippery slope.
How long were we convinced the world was flat?
I have been the bakers dozen
and that thirteenth was nearly my undoing.
Introspective and intriguing, Annie.
ReplyDeleteHere's a thought: God exists - or doesn't - regardless of whether or not anyone believes it.
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteMinds are like parachutes.
I thought I felt something licking me this morning. Who knew it was the sun? Come to the surface.....breathe!
ReplyDeleteBen Ditty - Music to my ears. Just be yourself. I ain't upbeat. Never gonna be. Heh! Not sure I'd even want to. Those all bubbly types make me nervous.
ReplyDeleteEric - I like that thought. I believe it. Our belief has little to do with God's existence. Oh, but how it changes how we exist!
Matthew - Aren't they though? And yet the mind slowly opens. Have you ever seen a parachute slowly open? If you have, it is death you witnessed. But both the mind and the parachute carry a body. Intriguing.
Travis - It is good to feel in the morning. Sets the tone for the whole day.
This couldn’t be better if given more time, if not worked into a lunch. This a great contribution to maintaining and open mind. Thank you
ReplyDeleteYep... just write... it eventually comes out... in some form or fashion...
ReplyDelete~shoes~
oh darlin this IS positive - this is moving and this is truth and this is inspiration and therefore this IS gorgeousness!! the kinda words that need to be called out with volume and in front others!
ReplyDeleteAnthony - Perhaps it was germinating at night when my mind is restless :) Hail to the sleeping pills.
ReplyDeleteShoes - Isn't that the truth. My form is often dark, and I can't say much for my fashion. Kinda Target meets Garage Sale.
EcoGrrl - Ha! Better left here where they can echo all they want. Thank you.
I wouldn't say this is upbeat, Annie, but then, writing is about being YOU. And expressing you. If I wanted a shiny happy blog about baking cupcakes, I'd...find one. And probably never visit again.
ReplyDeleteYour comment on Eric's blog post was pretty much word for word what I was gonna say, only better, so knock it off, would ya? :)
I hope you are doing well. This is a beautiful poem. I think certainty spoils all the fun, don't you?
we nothing
ReplyDeleteexcept
that which we know
every (changing) moment.
with a grain of salt, annie.
we must take ourselves with a grain of salt.
xo
erin
DON'T ever change a single syllable of your writing, you'd kill the brilliance, I personally read in awe always
ReplyDeleteMy Annie, I've missed your beautiful, melancholy voice. I'm better (arguing with poor Ray). This write just tears my heart out. That's good. You've come so far in your writing. "Certainty is a slippery slop"...ain't that the truth. Love you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteTracy - You are such a dear. I always just want to hug you. I told myself yesterday that my writing is not for anyone else. Yeah...dabnabit...find your cupcake blog elsewhere. LMAO. Look at me gettin' all uppity!
ReplyDeleteErin - I think our knowing is in as much flux as you are. Yep...because every moment has movement.
Lorraine - I think you are the president of my fan club. Good thing it's small, or you'd spend a lot in postage :)
Marion - Oh Ray can take it. And if he can't, then he'll just take a ride on his motorcyle and breathe in some road kill. That oughta do it! You know I'm always up for a Marion rant. Ain't nothin better. Love you!
Knowing and certainty. Would that these things were substantial enough to be relied upon but they are just mirages Annie. We must appreciate what we have but that does not require us to be forever upbeat in our uncertainty ... just honest. That will always suffice hopefully. Love you xx
ReplyDeleteThis is really good. Honest and clear. The voice is just right.
ReplyDelete"Certainty is a slippery slope" -- I love that!
Jos - I am missing you.
ReplyDeleteTim - Thanks Tim. I'm taking cues from the master :)
out on the edge, chickens die. like a canary in a cole mine.
ReplyDeleteworking through that cycle to see ourselves as the food is a god like thing to do, since the fool has access to anything.
staying open is discipline, challenge and test. and other things, i'm sure:)
Annnie,
ReplyDeletefalling from my bed in enraging disappointments of bad and weakly furnished dreams i often run into these questions that you may say are perverse as nature is to a naked lady sunbathing on the beach..The clouds will always come by..To sky we shall always give that opportunity of a better performance tomorrow...We are the audience...A friend said something of immense strength today....You feel sad when your craft(poem) or someone else's seems like it could have been better...and when you read something better...you will almost inevitably be sad...How true...We are the symptoms of all diseases that do not have a cure..so lets atleast be heard or read....write on
Manik - No one else gets this sadness I feel when I read something better. When I view a perfection I cannot achieve. When I hear a note I cannot sing. Thank you for penning it. I feel less alone. Yes, at the very least, let's be heard!
ReplyDeleteI'm curious.. do you think negative emotions are inherently more complex than positive emotions?
ReplyDeleteBtw.. I posted one of your pieces on another site of mine:
http://selfsyndicate.tumblr.com/